Friday, July 6, 2012

Sage Mode: Paul Morphy and the two Dukes

I was at a program one time when nature called for me and so to the loo I went. The call of nature so beclouded my senses that I hadn't noticed the label on the door. After answering the call I observed the label says 'GENTS e4'. Interesting, the gentlemen use loo number e4! My chess instinct would not let go off me so I succumbed. I wrote up my own label - 'e5'.

I came on day two of the program and again mother nature called. I got to use the loo again when I noticed someone had written 'Nf3' following my own 'e5'. "Ooookkkaaayyy", I thought. "So there are at least 2 chess lovers here". We all know what happens when we combine the following;
1)  A chess lover
2)  A second chess lover
3)  An opportunity to play chess.
You got it! A game ensues.

So I scribbled 'd6' wondering if my assumed opponent would respond. Sure enough he did (couldn't have been a girl, its a male toilet!). 'd4' was his reply. "Bg4", I wrote on the door and also decided to leave a message/greeting for him. "Hi, I'm Akin", I defaced the  toilet door with a lie and went back to my seat"

About an hour later, I eagerly (I do mean that word!) went back to the toilet to see if my opponent had replied. "dxe 2300+ Elo", "WOW!", I almost screamed! Playing against an IM at the toilet! At least the humiliation will private. "BxN", unsure if had made the right move.

The program soon finished and I decided to branch at the loo again just before leaving the venue. What I saw depressed me. His move came with a message that could devastate anybody's morale. "QxB - u'r dull". "dxe", I wrote. That was cold and uncalled for. So, I tried a weak attempt to lighten up the situation a little. "So, wat do u do 4 a livin?" (the toilet door was getting filled up by now!) I went back home that day feeling both angry and depressed. I made up my mind I would win that game not minding my opponent had a rating that was way over me.

On the third and final day of the program, I arrived at the venue very early. You see, come rain, come shine, chess players will be chess players. While others would have stopped the game on my opponent's last comment. We chess lovers won't.

'Bc4'. His move came with a message; "Wat did u say ur rating was?". This was good. I had thought my last I had thought my socializing skills worked. My depression and anger lifted. "Nf6, 1500+", I responded only to come back and find;
"Qb3, u'r not dat intelligent. Speak the truth and shame the devil!" WHAT!?

"Qe7, dat was an insult and it was uncalled for", I replied

"Nc3, ppl like u, who talk too mch r usually unintelligent"

"c6, u really r ful of urself aren't u" trying to refrain from using abusive language.

"Bg5, ful of myself? duh! we'v been talking abt u"

"b5". The program ended at this point and realistically I was happy about that. I hated playing against haughty people anyway (after all was this not a game of the noble?). Just as I had done the previous day, I decided to check out the loo again.

"Nb5" (Sage Mode) and an e-mail address. What is this!? A knight sacrifice!? Normally I wouldn't continue given that the guy was proud and besides the program had come to an end, but I really wanted to know what his sacrifice would lead to.

cxb was my reply by mail, Bxc5+ was his.

Nd7.  O-O-O Rd8.

The game continued;
RxN RxR.
Rd1 Qe6
BxR+ I was in a loo - almost literally!

NxB and I resigned. Can you see the ending? Below is a diagram of the final position

ans 1. Qb8+ Nxb8 2. Rd8#

If you were white playing against 2400+ Elo, the most honorable move here is Resign (give that !! (brilliancy))
A few days later I got an invitation from him which I turned down without thinking twice! (who wants more insults and yabs over a game)
I never got a word of apology for all the insults I got at the loo!

P.S. Non of all these ever happened. I never played against an IM in the loo!!! It was the game between Paul Morphy and the two Dukes. Paul Morphy beat them both (proof that in chess, there is no power in numbers)

1 comment:

  1. Gosh Deji!
    I was quite wondering whish kain toilet u dey hurry to go write chess moves. Certainly not d kind when u hold ur breath thruout d duratn of getting d job done. Then, if it was a tush (e.g. Sheraton hotel) toilet, who wd allow u do that. They will just catch & toss you out.

    Someone once taught me the basics of chess, and all the times I played phone/ laptop versions, I never won a game. I never thought I would ever read ur chess blog, but I'd surely be hitting this site more.